A tale of Bitches and Bastards:

A tale of Bitches and Bastards:

Sights and sounds of horror as witnessed during the modern battle of the sexes.

I’m sure you’ve all seen the news, read the headlines, and heard your friends talking about the stories over a round of beers. The world has gone gung-ho for equality, started screaming for justice and fair treatment, and all the while, the fat cats and screw heads seem just as content to sit down and say “No, that’s okay. You don’t really need that anyway.” They come in all manner of twisted shapes and colors that lead this writer to strongly believe that someone, somewhere, has begun spiking the communal punch of wisdom with a whole lot of LSD and nonsense.

Some have begun touting for the mandate of womb control under a banner of religion, leaving a wake of impoverished and angry people sweltering in the heat of moral stupidity and finding no shade under the Alamo of self-righteous indignation. Others have found a call to arms against all races for the justice of youth and the mismanagement of violence, never mind the fact they’re posting wrong addresses and shutting down businesses that have fuck all to do with what they’re mad about at all. Others still, are simply content to call out their leaders for being snake oil salesmen and communists – indeed, it seems these days everyone is marching under a red banner of fear, and I’m here to call bullshit on the whole damn circus.

What I’m here to talk about is the equality of humanity, the desegregation of genitals, why what’s between your legs has fuck all bearing on who you are as a person, and why, if you’re hell bent and content to keep that line drawn in the sand, then you’re just as guilty as all these people who’re pissed off that the government wants rights to their wombs and what comes out of them.

We’re going to deal with this whole regulation over who’s got rights to the womb, and we’re going to call it bullshit. Truth of the matter seems to me, that possession is nine tenths of law and, in this case, that other one tenth seems to be populated by a bunch of archaic thinkers who want to lay down stock on their lineage.

The fact that there seems to be a real sense of sexual entitlement about the whole thing, or the fact that some people seem to be forgetting the founding principle that America isn’t told its politics from the pulpit of Christianity, or even the fact that everyone in America is supposed to be given the freedom of personal choice, seems to be completely outside the spectrum of this argument. This whole thing seems to be boiling down to everyone else wanting the right to say what’s right or wrong for someone else.

When, exactly, did we decide we were just going to piss all over that principle and going ahead and inject ourselves with rabies? At what point did the voice of God start coming through my political candidates? Wherein modern American creeds, after the trials of suffrage and the fight for equality, have we decided that women are special, but that they can’t be given any kind of control over their bodies at all? The whole thing stinks to me.

It’s as if the world has suddenly become overrun with some jeering whore-mania, as if every politician on the side of God feels the right to climb the child-bearing bits of women as their own respective property because that’s how God wants it. Right. God wants you to control other people’s choices, judge them, and then decide that you have the authority to throw away things they might need in life because you don’t think their choices are morally sound.

Nobody has the right to make choices about sex for anyone else. I’m sure everyone knows what they call a person who makes choices for others about sex and, if you don’t, I’m going to fill you in: They’re a rapist.  Be it how they have it, how they attempt to stop procreation, or how they feel about not bringing a child into the world. These are choices that fall to the people who’re doing the actual fucking, regardless of what hole or whether or not the intention is for breeding. That’s just the way it is, and these aging bastards, who still cling to their lordly ambitions of sexual ownership need a serious wakeup call on the matter. They’re acting like moral rapists, imposing their values of what is wholesome, good, and proper on the rest of us.

I don’t know about the rest of you, but it seems to fly in the face of American principle values to even be having this argument. The Pilgrims, some of the primary settlers in this country had the right idea – don’t want to follow a religion, get on a boat and get the fuck out, go be free. That’s what this country was supposed to be about; a place where people could be free of the mandates of other people’s ideas of God and to carry on with life as you want to live it. That’s what America was meant to be, that’s how it was designed.

All of you out there who think you’ve got some kind of right to lay claim to someone else’s reproductive organs, I’ve got one thing to say to you: You come for my balls, and there’s going to be blood running down the streets. If I had a uterus, I’d say the damn thing. It’s mine and you can go fuck yourself if you think you’ve got any sort of moral or legal right to it. Everyone has the right to defend their bodies from harm; it doesn’t matter if it’s coming from Capitol Hill or from the pages of someone else’s favorite damnable, self-interpreted, fairytale that, by and large, seems to have completely ignored its protagonist’s lessons. That’s your right as an American and as a human being.

The same thing applies to the whole damn lot of you who seem content to sit around and start spouting off in your “X-hating” rants. You want to sit around and say all women are whores, or that are men are just stupid bastards who like to think with their dicks? Well, let me just say congratulations on stepping into the age of hypocrisy and double standards. I’d say it’s nice to have you here, but I frankly can’t stand the whole damn lot of you.

So gents, here is the news flash for you – you like to fuck. You’re human, just about everyone likes to fuck, and that’s not something that has a damn thing to do with what you’ve got between your legs. You like to fuck and you’re not a whore. You go out with the intention to get laid. You like to look at people naked, and you masturbate in your secret shame. You know what else? You’ve got feelings and that’s okay too.

It doesn’t make you less of a man to have some conviction that doesn’t come from your balls, or to say that you respect women’s rights. It shouldn’t make you some kind of social pariah amongst your peers because you want to stand up for equality and say there’s more to life than a shapely ass, a nice pair of tits, and hips that will push your spawn into the world; not that there’s anything wrong with appreciating these traits either, just don’t make them things. They’re part of a person. Period.

Ladies, same rules apply. You like to fuck. You might like dick, and that’s okay. It doesn’t make you a slut, or a whore. The understanding that you like to have sex, that orgasms feel fucking fantastic and are good for you, doesn’t devalue in a social sense. I understand there are many parts of the world and this country that would have you think it’s a one way ticket to sulfur springs and a place where a fat, red, horny, fucker is going to poke you in a very uncomfortable way – but is that a whole lot different than what’s going on right now anyway?

If you like to fuck, then fuck. It’s really that simple. It’s not about how often you do it, what your favorite position is, whether you take a pill or wrap you shit in latex. It’s not about taking it in the ass – because who doesn’t feel like they do they do these days anyway – or if you like to go down on your respective partner. Not a damn one of these things makes you a slut, because damn near everyone likes to do all of these things.

So what does make you a slut or a whore? Let’s take a look at Webster’s:

Definition of WHORE

1:a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman

2: a male who engages in sexual acts for money

Definition of SLUT

1: chiefly British : a slovenly woman

2: a : a promiscuous woman; especially : prostitute b : a saucy girl : minx

If you’re to go by the dictionary then, if you’re dirty and fucking for money, you’re a slut, and likely a whore. If you’re just fucking for money, regardless of gender, then you’re just a whore.  The thing that gets me is that there’s even a gender distinction in the latter parts of these definitions. It doesn’t matter what’s between your legs. An immoral person is someone fair to call a whore, or even a slut. Everything about them is for sale because they have no principle on which to stand and think that, if they do, it’s their right to bring everyone else around to their perspective – and since when is calling someone the dictionary definition of promiscuous an insult? Let’s take a look at that while we’re right here:

Definition of PROMISCUOUS:

1:composed of all sorts of persons or things

2: not restricted to one class, sort, or person : indiscriminate

3: not restricted to one sexual partner

4: casual, irregular <promiscuous eating habits>

Looking at this, anyone who fucks for money is a whore and a slut. Any promiscuous or immoral person is a whore and a slut – we’re going to ignore the whole bit where it includes women because that’s rubbish. What the words are basically telling me is that someone who is willing to look outside themselves, consider the world as a whole, and be a diverse and varied person, is both a slut and whore. We all, generally, understand that this isn’t what’s meant when these that are being used, but that’s still the whole truth of what’s being said.

Sure, they want you to think that people are sluts and whores because they like to fuck, and God has no mercy for those who fuck for money. Well, guess what? Lots of people get paid lots of money just to fuck in this country; the catch is that it doesn’t involve a single penis going into a single anus, vagina, ear, nose, mouth, or even damming piercing hole. They get paid to fuck all kinds of people all at once, and yet it’s perfectly okay for these people to stand up and brand all the rest of us a bunch of dirty minxes? I, for one, think not.

Trying to change anything the world in a way that further separates the sexes simply makes you an asshole and it doesn’t rightly matter what side of the line you stand on. You want to stand on your soap box and tout your right, religious or not, to say that you’re better than the other, and someone should slap your ass hard enough to knock you out of the archaic cesspool you seem content to let your thoughts fester in. You want to stand up and say all women who use birth control are sluts, or that all men are womb control freaks who think with their dick? You deserve just the same treatment.

Men and women have one fundamental thing in common: they’re both people. Like it or not, that’s the way it is, and there’s nothing that can be done about it and there shouldn’t be anyone who tries to do something about it. We’re human beings. What gender we are doesn’t make us any more special, neither does what religion we follow, or don’t, or the color of our skin. No one has a right to pass laws, or refuse you anything based on any of these principles, and they sure as fuck don’t have the right to run your life based on how often you like to have sex.

Like was written earlier, there’s one thing every last one of you can do to make this better for yourselves overall. On the smaller scale, this applies to your social situations too and I encourage you to really think about it. It’s not uncommon, regardless of which gender you are, to hear some sordid tale of whorish bitches and unscrupulous bastards. It’s too easy to sit there and say “All men are pigs” or “All women are sluts.” It’s too easy to keep taking a step away from your fellow humans because of what’s between their legs and draw yet another line in the sand. It’s too easy and, if you want to get anywhere in this timeless battle of sexism, it’s got to stop.

They’re stereotype situations where no one wins. They’re the kind of thing that gives credence to these sweaty palmed, fat cats, who are hell-bent to take away your right to look after your own body. It makes everyone look bad and perpetuates the cycle of condemnation and condescension. It forces a wall up, even if you don’t know it, even if you don’t think about it, even if you don’t think anyone hears you, and anything you say that says “I am X and hear me fucking roar” will inevitably be drawn into question because of your inability to look for equality rather than specialized separation.

So why not let it go? Why not admit that some people are, in fact, whores, why not admit that some men are, in fact, quite prone to thinking with their dicks and nothing else, but why don’t you try and handling this on a case by case basis? Sure, if someone, man or women, fucks you over in this fashion, it wouldn’t be entirely unfair to sit down and address that among your peers, but when you start doing it as literal, blanket, statements about gender, what exactly is it you’re hoping to achieve?

Are you looking for some kind of external validation? Are you looking for catharsis? Is it sympathy? Or are you just reacting to the fact that you’ve been ill-treated and you’re angry about it? The next time you’re in that position, I advocate you strip naked and stand in front of the mirror, cover up your junk and imagine it’s the opposite of what you’ve got. Stand in the shoes of those sex-crazed, wild, emotional, unstable, maniacs, and then take your hand away. You’re no different. You’re no better. You’re a person and the more you keep trying to separate yourself into smaller and smaller boxes, the more the world is going to think that’s exactly what you want, and they’ll think it’s perfectly okay to give it to you in ways they want.

Some men will never think with their dicks, some men will think that it’s absolutely wrong to have government regulated womb control. Some men will do the dishes, cook dinner, and take out the trash. They’ll watch the kids, and be the stay at home Dad – and some women will want to do the exact same thing. You can’t answer the world for everyone and say that as a man, or woman, I can speak for all women, or all men, about what exactly it is that you, we, I, and they want. You just can’t. It’s not even remotely realistic. So, why bother?

Why not let that shit go? Why not stop making bullshit proclamations about entire fractions of your population? Why not throw sexism out the fucking window. You’re human, you’re equal, and you deserve it. You’re all perverts. You’re all degenerates. You all like to fuck and think you’ve got all the answers. You like to live life and follow what you believe, and you’re firm in your conviction that you, if given the chance, could fix everything for everybody. It’s noble, but it’s ultimately wrong. You may have a way that works for many, you may have a way that works for most, but nobody will ever agree with everything you have to say.

The only thing we can do is to keep trying and speak fairly for everyone. All we can do, as humans, is keep trying to give each of us a fair chance to follow what they want and defend what it is that we want. Some people will never believe in abortions or contraceptives, and that’s their right. Some people will think that they have a spiritual sense of responsibility and that’s how they’re going to fulfill it. That’s their right. If you want to use condoms, fuck daily, and take the pill, that’s your right. If you want to get abortions because something happened somewhere and you got pregnant, that’s your choice and it’s your right – but remember that just because it’s what you think, or what you want, it’s not going to be what everyone wants.

This is the modern world, this is a world of one click ownership, and this is a world where everything and anything you want can be at your fingertips in a minute. This is a world built by humans to make life easier for them. Why fight against it? Why keep using all these tools to keep building walls? Why keep using these tools to make an ever shrinking world seem further and further apart?

You’ve all got voice, you’re all using them to take a stand against something, but why hold on to these outdated ideals of equality? Why strive to be different and special instead of equal? Why take on the labels the world wants to give you with your private justification, only to shout about them in the spotlight?

Why not embrace the fact that we live in the modern world, where rights and sex is out there for everybody to have? It’s a world where it’s possible to do what you love, and love what you do – especially if it’s people.  It’s your obligation as a human, in America, to stand up and say tell those promiscuous whores in government and politics that you’re not going to stand for this blatant raping of your human rights. It’s your obligation, as a collective whole, to put down the guns and stop going to war over sexism. It’s time to let go of your rifles and put out your hands for shaking and hugs. It’s time to band together as a whole and shake one, loud, angry, unified fist against the things you think are wrong.

If you really want to sit back and have the world start taking you all seriously, you’ve got to be willing to look at each other in the same light. You’ve got to be willing to stop with your private perpetuating and set out to change the way you’re acting in the world. You’ve got to stop calling every woman you see a whore, and every man you see on the street a sexual jailor. You’ve got to open your eyes and shut your mouth. You’ve got to look at what’s changed and step over those lines we’ve all drawn in the sand.

Yes, you’re human, and yes, you can roar. You can shout with just as much conviction and passion as any other human man. Yes, you’re a human and you can cook, clean, love, and be just as passionate as any other human. Yes, we are emotional. Yes, we have the potential to be reactive and irrational. Yes, we are capable of all manner of things and not all of them are good, but not all of them are bad either.

So the next time you sit down with a group of your like gender peers and somehow or another the topic of the opposite comes up, stop. Stop and think about them. Stop and think that they’re people, just like you. They’re no more prone to being irrational or reactive than you are, they’re not any better or worse than you are, just because of what they are, and there’s nothing about them, as people, that is any different than you. The next time someone says “All _____ are  ____”, don’t hesitate to stand up and put down that kind of thinking.

All any of us are, is human. All any of us can expect is that we’ll continue to be human. Some of us will be ‘good’, some of us will be selfish; some of us will think we’re saving those around us with our actions, and all of us, at some frequent point or another, will be wrong. That’s the long and short of it and anything more than that is irrelevant in terms of equality.

We’re humans, and that’s all. Some of us have breasts, some don’t. We all bleed, we all breathe, we all laugh, and we all cry. We all live, we all die. We all want, we all dream, and we call fuck. We all work, we all think, we all eat, we’re all alive, and, at the end of the day, we all share a world. So, if our world wants to calls us whores for how we live, what we think, and what we feel; if our world wants to tell us that what we do is wrong, that our communally, whorish, behavior is worthy of condemnation and the government has the right to step and intervene on behalf of our best interest, then let’s take a look at what it means to be a whore again – and let’s throw out gender this time.

Once again, Webster’s says:

Definition of WHORE

1:a woman who engages in sexual acts for money : prostitute; also : a promiscuous or immoral woman

2: a male who engages in sexual acts for money

If we take the gender out of that what are we left with?
“1. A person who engages in sex acts for money: prostitute, also: a promiscuous or immoral person.”

Now, just to hammer home the point, let’s take a look at the world promiscuous, so we’re all on the same page.

Definition of PROMISCUOUS

1: composed of all sorts of persons or things
2: not restricted to one class, sort, or person : indiscriminate <education … cheapened through the promiscuous distribution of diplomas — Norman Cousins>
3: not restricted to one sexual partner.

So, looking at all of that, a whore, if we exclude the obvious bits about fucking for money, is now defined as the following: An immoral person, regardless of gender, who is composed of all sorts of persons or things, an immoral person who is not restricted to one class, sort, or person, who is indiscriminate with their decisions, or an immoral person who is not limited to one sexual partner. Right, we’re all on the same page then that, when I say whore, this is now what I mean.

So, when you look around, when you go looking for whores, where do you find them? Where do you find immoral people, who are composed of all sorts of persons or things? Where do you find seemingly immoral people who are not restricted to one class of people, who are indiscriminate with their decisions about those around them and their choices? Where do you find people who are immoral and often not limited to one sexual partner?

I’ll tell you where I see them. I see these people sitting around in cushy seats making decisions about you and I on a daily basis. I see these people sitting on the other side of ticker tape barricades, telling us we’re all going to Hell for making our own choices for our bodies. I see these people getting fat and insulting us on the radio. I see these people going out and putting on fake smiles to get votes. I see these people standing up to tell you, bold faced, that they have integrity and value.

I see a world full of whores and a bunch of politically minded people telling us we shouldn’t have to suffer and pay for them any more – and, when I look at it like this, I think they’re right.

All sources for definitions were found and cited from http://www.merriam-webster.com/