Mainlining Intolerance:

Mainlining Intolerance:
The new, social, drug that's all the rage

I'm sure you've all seen the news today and if not, I'm going to preface this entry with a couple of links for you. They are two articles that show two, very different, sides of the same coin; highlights of a social epidemic that - I feel - needs some serious addressing. They are, as follows: The Westboro Baptist Ass-Kicking & Suicide Pacts.

Where is it that we've gone so, hideously, far off course that these sort of events are even giving a breeding ground to happen? It's an abusive of civil liberties, a rape and plunder of rights, and a hard pointed look at just how twisted the system of values has become in this country. Children have always been cruel and unforgiving - this will probably never change - and one could argue it's the modern Agoge; a battle ground of harsh values designed to reinforce and strength the structure as a whole. It's unfortunate, but we all endure it. Does that make it right, or okay? Absolutely not, but it's not about to stop. We're living longer, living less, and offing ourselves at alarming rates. It's a modern, vampire, tragedy told all anew - none of us are Achilles, none of us are immortal, and even less of us are being given proper armor.

The problem seems to stem from an over saturation that deviance, of any kind, is an immoral cockroach that should be squashed. It's everywhere; magazines, television, even books aren't immune to it. They build the model of perfection to which we hold everything accountable - and it all becomes about perception. In Spartan times, the guidelines were simple - an no, that's not an argument for eugenics, merely a comparison- but now? Now we leave up to the beholder to determine that which should be stoned to death; and no longer do we hold the mandate that only he without Sin, should cast the first stone.

So where does the blame lie? Those parents of loss; the ones who have lost their young as casualties to a harsh and unforgiving environment, are often first to blame themselves. It's why, in part, I opted to highlight the article I did. The parents, by admission (though we never really know) seemed to be doing everything they could to teach the methods of perseverance, even providing the shield of anti-depressants to ward off any wayward strikes that got past a structured, bronze, shield. I cannot see the problem lying here. One could, if they so chose, consider this some modern model for Darwins theory - but this isn't weakness, or stupidity that's bringing these children to form pacts and hang themselves in their bedrooms. It's a loss of light, that bottomed out feeling where tomorrow seems just as black as today, and nothing in the world can ever triumph over such wicked and sinister hearts.

That, then, leaves the other side of the conflict to be considered. If the parental guideline for the wounded seems to be inadequate when faced against the growing horde of mongrel breeders; those who are more content to perpetrate acts of indolence and provision, then what do we do? Rather than provide the tools for diverse understandings and an appreciation of all colors, these facsimiles are simply dropping their kids off wherever, paying little to no mind to what it is they, do, or say. That, in an of itself, is bad enough, but what about lessons of causality; that for everything you do, you will cause a reaction? Whatever happened to teaching kids about the dangers of Karma, or even bringing out the boom stick of damnation? Whatever happened to the basic principles of teaching morality, of decency? Never mind right and wrong - that's all too easy to skew. Whatever happened to teaching people to be genuine and heartfelt?

I'm sure, if only because I want to be, that every parent does their best to teach these things to the youth in their early stages. What happens though, when the parents have been given the same, faulty, textbook model for how to behave? I'm not talking about just the abusive families either, or the ones you see trumpeted on Lifetime either. I'm talking about the ones who simply don't understand - or don't care enough - that the moral implications of their actions; as Parents are God in the eyes of Children, are tied inexorably to the behaviors of their children. It's this kind of moral flophouse that breeds the vicious cycle. Angry dogs are not taught that they should not bite, and we've enforced the idea that killing them is bad. Now the streets are overrun with vicious, foaming, beasts all looking for an outlet to turn their savage fangs dull - just so they can sleep at night.

The only, effective, way to combat this kind of thing is to, early on, begin the principle teachings of understanding and hope - two things we seem to have lost sight of in these fast and strange times. In the budding stages of growth, where the stone is heated raw and turned pliant by social pressures, every impact leaves an impression; every kind word turns a smooth surface, and every harsh jab leaves a marring scar upon the clay. It's in these times, when even the strongest of metal, the weakest of glass, is able to be bent and molded. It's in these times that action becomes pivotal, if not vital. If we don't, then aren't we responsible for the reprehensible behavior of tomorrows ignorance? We're the pushers of value, we decide what the lessons are worth, and how to put emphasis upon them. 

If we're willing to put billions into these wars on drugs, then it could be suggested that addressing this issue Mainlining Intolerance of could be considered paramount. It's killing more and more of our youth than anything else. Maybe you don't see it, because it's victims are all, still, walking. If you look real close though, they're out there. The signs aren't easy to see; the listless eyes the downcast stares, the silent breath of disillusionment that escapes with each, passing, headline - and these aren't destitute individuals peddling for change on the street corner either. These are your working class, you bankers, your lawyers, your doctors, your gas station attendants and your chefs; no one is immune, and everyone is forced to take a taste of it at some point or another. 

Some people hate it, it makes them violently ill and it seizes stiff, filling their veins with ice water. They're ill suited for the harsh and twisted sights the direct shot of intolerance provides and, at worst, they might stumble around slurring insensitive statements as a form of catharsis. These people are generally harmless once the initial effects of the drug wear off, generally just wallowing in self loathing for their behavior for a few weeks, and then all becomes right with the world again.  

Then you have the dangerous ones who love it, and it's these ones you have to watch out for in the dark. It's these people who drink up intolerance moonshine during prohibition. It's everywhere and they can't get enough of it. It gets them high in a way nothing else can, spouting off their own emotional madness as a way to suck some semblance of purpose into their, otherwise, dull and uneventful lives. They're emotional junkies, living on the adverse reaction they cause to the general populace, like a pack of Piranhas waiting for that first drop of blood to hit the water. It's then they'll surge forward in a violent frenzy, clawing and screaming at whatever mass it is they've chosen to target. They give no care or pause for injury either - it's how they spread; modern zombies spilling their own blood on the small prayer of keeping the infection alive.

They're a mindless horde, and there's really no stopping these culturally addled monsters either. They simply keep on as they always do, and will, running amok until something puts a stop to their heads - since most of them are already fairly heartless. There's little hope for a cure too, as the infection is insidious and has a habit of turning all reasonable and rational thought into something necrotic. The only real hope we have is education against the outbreak. We've got to make tomorrow better by teaching our youth to avoid, and to handle, those among them who will, inevitably, become bitten. 

That too, will not be enough. We need better drug education programs, teaching kids the dangers of sticking this strange, alien, substance, in our hearts. We need to show them traumatic videos, shocking Polaroids, live action footage from the front lines of war funerals; whatever it takes. It's got to be done, and it's got to be done soon. We all know it's out there, lurking, and it always has been - the difference is that we need to be aware of it, we need to study it, observe its habits, figure out how it procreates. We need to scan the halls of our history for its roots, and stamp out every modern resurgence of it like it's just another breed of smallpox. Still, as I sit here, spiraling through article after article, seeing bit by bit, and piece by piece fall away, I can't help by hear the echoing words of exterminator Bill Lee as he fell down the rabbit hole of his own insanity.

"America is not a young land. It is old and dirty, evil. Before the settlers, before the Indians, the evil is there, waiting."

Be weary of that evil, it waits, forever, to prey upon the pure landscape of an unscathed heart. It will turn it to solid stone in minutes, and leave no room for the growth that should come with time. It's what comprises every thread of rope we use to strangle out the hope for tomorrow - tasteless as that analogy might be. It's the evil of intolerance, of ignorance, that breeds a lack of compassion in the world and we simply cannot afford to keep feeding the beast like this - it's high time we lock it up, or defenestrate the bastard and fill it full of lead - putting it down like the old, tired, useless dog it is..

It's a pleasant thought, even if it's just a pipe dream.

The Arsenal of Spirituality

The Arsenal of Spirituality
And why I don't like to write about Religion.

God. It's a word, title, or - if you believe enough - name that just about everyone equates something to, and it doesn't matter who they are, or what walk of life they come from at all. It doesn't mean the same thing to everybody, and it hardly ever talks about the same feeling or person. To some, it's an omnipotent entity on high; a great creator of everything and anything, and, to others, it's simply an idea; a teaching of thought that serves as a model guideline for how to live ones life. This, generally, applies to all facets of spirituality and faith as well, everything from modern Christianity and Judaism, to the Neo-Pagans and Satanists. It doesn't matter what you follow, or even why in a lot of cases, it's all - effectively - the same thing.

So why don't I like to write about it? I get asked this question a lot. It's not because religion; like politics, seems to be a war ground for fervent arguments and self righteous proclamations - if not outright violence. I write about things like this all the time, both in literal and social contexts. I can handle the heat, and the flames, that come with those kind of arguments. They're nothing new and, I'd probably welcome them. The reason I don't like to write about the myriad of spirituality, is that I don't see there to be a need for it in these times. It's something a lot of people prescribe to, that I see as good. It becomes, at one point or another, all about Faith - and who I am to start questioning that?

Do people need Faith? Absolutely they do. It doesn't matter if it's in God, Tomorrow, Chocolate Bunnies, Cthulhu, or a Time Traveler who floats around the cosmos in a blue Police box; everybody needs something to believe it. Should it be questioned? Absolutely. Asking why you believe what you believe is one of the most essential parts of having any kind of Faith. Do I think I should be the one to sit here and question it, or write some harsh critique of its practitioners? No, I don't, not even for a minute. Faith is a personal topic. It's not just the tenants of faith either, but it's application that I feel I have no business slinging all over the internet - even if I do it with the best of intentions.

There are many weapons in the arsenal of Faith that I could, and in private do, talk about. I do not find a lot of applications of practical beliefs to be really adherent to this "higher moral code" many Faiths seem to - attempt - to teach. That, though, does not undermine the real value of Faith. Faith, no matter what it's in, carries with it the impossible, the plausible, and the real belief in something.It's just that kind of thing that, I see, more and more people losing sight of in these modern days.

Spirituality, faith, beliefs, and what have you, are one of the most vital tools in how we define ourselves. It doesn't matter if it's on principles of religion, of life views, of how to treat our fellow man even, it all falls under the same banner. Some find these teachings in churches, some find them in temples, some find them in self-made tribes of people who personify what we find to be right, and true, in the world. All of these people are, inherently, right. Why? Because Faith is Personal. It's all about what we believe, why we believe it, and what that belief empowers us to do. It's not my place to sit here, or anywhere, and devalue that measure of dedication - hell, it's just that kind of value I'm likely to praise.

Faith is what separates the hopeful dreamer from the rest of the disillusioned world. It's what drives the starving beast onward through the dark forests in search of food. It's never a bad thing - but it ultimately comes down to what you do with it. There's a whole world of madmen; those who are drunk on faith and brandish its flag in the name of inhuman behavior on an almost daily basis, but does that mean that Faith, in principle, should be judged for how it's wielded? I don't think it's any more responsible to blame faith for its use, then it is to blame the emotions of a human being, on the actions of someone else. It all comes down to accountability; the belief of what is right, but having the respect and knowledge to apply it in a format that is not abusive to the liberties of life we all have the right to enjoy.

The issue though becomes, when people begin to wield a weaponized sense of faith as a sword of truth, to which all other weapons are inferior. Nobody can tell anybody that the world is right or wrong in what it believes. Actions? Those can be morally offensive, they can be viewed as wrong by many. It's those actions, specifically the ones driven by an absolute conviction to the Faith of what is 'right' that can be truly dangerous. To say "I am right because I have Faith that I am" is an argument to which there is no position of opposition. It's under that banner that massacres of morality and compassion have been, and always will be, vomited onto the landscape of our social world.

It's why, by in large, I opt not to prescribe to any one system of beliefs and or values. I see the base core of Spirituality as being a guideline for how to behave among the world; "Do right by your fellow man, be honest, be forthcoming, be genuine in your action and loving in your application." Then I see all of that potential squandered under the way it's taken, smelted down by interpretation, and forged into some instrument of blasphemous dictation under which all actions can be justified.

It's at this point that I become disinterested in writing much about it, in specific. It's all been done, under some other banner, under some other flag, for countless millions of reasons. I have no interest in calling out the things I view as wrong, held under the banner of Faith, to the general public. It serves no purpose, there is no position to which I can argue, that cannot be countered by a slew of "It's what I believe" statements - and it's not worth it to me to tempt the pitchfork mobs for my disclosure either. We're all, expertly, capable of some, seriously unreasonable, responses when Faith gets involved. So all I will say is this:

Have Faith, have it absolutely. Believe in what you will, but be mindful of how you use it. Your Faith will not be for everyone, no matter how right you feel you are in your conviction. It is not a get out of jail free card for a lifetime of immoral behavior. It is not a soapbox that you have any right to make anyone else stand on or get in line behind. Faith will provide you with a better quality of life, but without your positive actions on behalf of it, it will never answer questions or open doors for you. It is a tool, a guidebook for existence, and it should be challenged regularly. Be aware of what you believe, be ready to defend and debate it, but don't take the job of conversion of yourself. Life can only be lived by those who live it, as they choose to do so...and the minute you bless your shotgun shells, anything you believe becomes as hollow as the spent casing you're about to fire.

The trouble with being labeled a cynic

The trouble with being labeled a cynic

and other such problems faced by honest "misanthropes" everywhere

 Since I've started this thing, I've received several emails and comments referencing my viewpoints on the world. Several wild - albeit true - accusations have begun to fly around, an I'd like to address them once and for all. I think these things are important. I want to make sure people get their facts straight before all the vicious boars start touting off their line in a prolonged series of murky, muddled, grunts and shrieks into the night. Don't panic, it's after 5 P.M, so telling the truth is perfectly safe. This is a true disclosure of honesty, a real, raw, look at the man, and the character, you're accusing.

1. Am I, in fact, a genuine misanthrope?

Absolutely not, at least not in the 'dislike' definition of the word, and this - if there was such a thing - is a bullshit question. I may have a general sense of mistrust for my fellow patrons of Earth, but I'm a Patriot and a Lover, a real dreamer - and not some half-assed, whiskey crazed, charlatan preacher, type either. It's genuine, and it's real. It's where all these words come from. I don't hate the world, quite the opposite. I love it, for what it could be at the very least. I just believe in painting a bright target on the things that I find personally reprehensible about the circus. We're all a bunch of damnable, shit slinging, animals - and I'm no better - and sometimes these things need to be pointed out to people. The insanity we all go about in our daily acting jobs makes it impossible for me to be a misanthrope. I love the show far too much, I just think, sometimes, the scenes could stand some revision.

2. Why do you hate the world so much?
 
Again, I don't. Am I passionate, sometimes verbally violent about the things I cannot stand? Absolutely. I think there's a great number of things that are wrong with the world; one could argue I'm one of said things even, but I don't hate the world. There are moments, when I see certain colors, or shadows on the landscape of beauty, where I am certainly enraged by what I see going on around me, but by no means do I hate the world. What the actual fact is, is that I love the world. It's a place of limitless potential, populated by billions of interesting people, who, for whatever reason, opt to simply disassociate themselves with a lot of the more positive and optimistic outcomes around them. I'm outspoken about these things, and I always will be, but don't mistake that for some kind of toxic emotion directed toward the world as an entirety. If you're not going to pay attention, please stop reading.

3. Why is it you never really talk about religious or political topics in your writing?

Spirituality and politics are two of the biggest social dogs one can wrestle with, but I really don't see them as a topic that is wrong with the world. I could squabble for hours and days, and I do, about the natures of the Church - whichever one it is - and the Political state of affairs in this, and several other countries. Really, that's about all I have to say on it. I have respect for the decrepit cogs of the political system. I've stepped into the amateur ring, and see just how the ravenous dogs set upon the stage like starving, wild, jackals; ready to feast on whichever of them flinches first. Religion is much the same way, to me. It's a place where, in a lot of cases, there's no room for questions or discrepancies and those who have them are the first sacrifice to the cause -- because they just don't have what it takes to stand in the light alongside you. It's just those kind of judgements I have no time for really, in both rings. People who cannot handle the challenge of their ideas and affairs, either of the heart, the mind, or the soul, have no business ever claiming to have such things. What I think? Irrelevant for this dialogue, but I'll bring it up later - you can take that to the bank too.

 These are the questions that seem to be the most prevalent as of late, and it's sensible too. I'm sure, to the outside world, I seem to be some touting, loud mouthed, asshole; stitched up like some Frankenstein creature with a mixture of American and Turkish tobacco and jarred to life in a shot of electrified, Irish, whiskey. I can't claim this to be untrue - I wouldn't even try. It would be immoral, and would violate my creed, to be telling such lies at this hour. Is this the entirety of what I am; is my sum total just some freaked out lunatic who spent too much of his youth getting high and staring at the world through twisted glasses? That's not really for me to decide now is it? 

It's the problem with being labeled a cynic, even a misanthrope; you find yourself constantly living inside that questionable shadow of the public eye. Maybe you're just too old, too warped, too jaded, to be looking at anything in a proper, civil, light? I think that's a bunch of malarkey. I'm not too anything. I live, that's it and if I do it at a speed, in a lane, and by a vehicle that makes you feel angry, ill, or otherwise emotionally motivated; for better or worse, I'm doing something - an I'd be inclined to say it's something right.

It's why I felt the need to clarify these important questions as to the character behind these writings. I make no claims of wholesome values or affectionate tones, as I carry little space or room to hand them out - nor will I ever do so in some feeble, half-assed, fashion. I don't stand on some, self righteous, soap box, spouting off my perspective rabble like a doomsayer either. I've never been that kind of person. I don't sit back and wallow in a world where I see everything as fucked, twisted, or broken either. The things that I see as wrong with the world? I do my absolute best -- as it's my duty as a, self proclaimed, patriot and lover -- to bring about the antithesis of these points as often as possible.

The world's not hopeless, or wrong, or even all that backwards. Hell, it seems to work for a lot of people -- it even works, just as it is, for me. Just because it does work, doesn't mean I think it should work however, and just because it's not wrong? Well, shit, that has nothing to do with being right either. There's a lot of things I see in the world that need changing, and I'm quick to point them out. How else is anything supposed to, really, get better? If the swine continue to waste and want, covering the land in a blanket of malcontent and squalor; like some long dormant Vampire awoken from a millennium of slumber and set loose upon the world to feast on hope -- then you're damn right I'll stand up and scream at them. I'll do my be absolute best, because I have no other recourse, to shed some sunlight on those godless leeches.

Perhaps that's why I'm asked these questions, and labeled such unscrupulous things. I'm a moral man, who speaks when something offends his principle. I'm ill content to remain wasted in a hall of silence, just because I might rattle the bars of an, otherwise complacent, structure. I think it's my job to do these things, about people, places, and the world. If someone steps on my toe, I will not suffer the pain in silence. I'll inform them of what they did, and move on -- otherwise they're liable to just keep standing there, ignorant of any wrong doing.

That's why nothing ever gets done anymore. Nobody wants to say anything, to anyone. We've been raised to treat each other like fragile eggs; precious lives that might crack and be forever broken if the wrong words are spoken too harshly or at too loud a volume. It's just this kind of social hypochondria that's falling over gatherings of all types, everyone drunk on false truths and the value of being placated. It's the nature of politics -- and there's some of it right there for you -- of both backroom, billiard halls, and Washington D.C. Nobody wants to ever tell the truth, and if they do, they have to cover it up in so much sugar and honey that it slides down your throat without you ever knowing it was there.

I've never been a man to talk that way & I would consider it offensive of anyone to do so to me. I respect, admire, and practically demand, an honest shot taken at me. I take aim at so many things, so often, but I'll never do it as a Sniper. Hell no, that kind of thing diminishes the horrors of war and it's probably why we're so quick to have them today at all. Nobody sees the violence from the deck of a Destroyers 2000 miles off the shore of whatever country it is that's getting bombed. If war or violence is to be had, either figurative or metaphorically, I think it should be done face to face and let the chips fall where they may.

The problem with being labeled a cynic and a misanthrope is that I find I'm not taken as seriously as I should -- at least on occasion -- enjoy. Am I, perhaps, a little bitter? Absolutely not. I'm sweetened with a perspective sense of reality that may be a bitter medicine for some, but I don't try and force anyone to swallow it. My opinion is my own, and if you don't like it? Well, I'm not about to apologize for it and change what it is I have to say, so don't ask. If ever I provide a position that is, at some later point, shown to me to perhaps, be in accurate? Then I'll revise my position. I don't know everything, I won't pretend that I do, but just because I come off as 'abrasive' or 'rude' when dealing with people in social contexts is no reason to conduct myself differently. I say and do, at least most of the time, precisely what I mean, and I am not a man to go all willy-nilly with the devaluing of hollow and empty apologies to try and save face.

Of course there are other, well meaning, questions I'm occasionally asked too, but I find them far less need of correction. Their either opinions of substance related affairs, or self explanatory inquisitions that show a real lack of effort in digesting the work. I believe, firstly, in letting my reader sort out of those kind of things for themselves, and refuse to reward a principle of laziness on the latter -- no matter how well intended the question might have been. I come with a warning, an I tend to display it loudly. "I am honest." -- I wear bright colors for a reason too, everyone knows it's nature's way of showing everyone around: DANGER! HARMFUL IF SWALLOWED.

And that, ladies and gentlemen of my judging jury of peers, is a fact.

Dealing with Change: The Dollars and Sense of not always getting what you want

Dealing with Change:
The dollars and sense of not always getting what you want

Life’s hard. It’s complicated, unpredictable – which is arguably what makes it fun – and full of intersections. It’s impossible to know just where you’ll end up at any given moment, or really why you ended up there. The how of the matter, which is the only thing you have any real control over, though is entirely plausible and tangible. Asking yourself how you ended up where you did never serves you as much purpose; instead, try asking yourself: “Why did I make the choices I made?”

We’ve all been there, with everyone; new friends, potential romantic interests, new jobs, moving, big life changes, the works. Sometimes things just don’t play out the way we want and, generally speaking, this process is something we all have to learn to manage. Were we too forward or too timid? Did it really all fall apart, or did we just intentionally not put enough gas in the tank? Did we misread a sign, or did we not see it at all? Did something change and, if so, why did it? These are all important questions to ask yourself, and sometimes the other parties involved too.

The key thing to remember is that life changes. It’s not a direct line or some constant, straight, road with well marked road signs to inform you of all the dangers and pitfalls up ahead. It never will be either – besides, that would be boring – but what happens when the sharp turn hits, and you find yourself spiraling from a position of ‘Person of Interest” into the caliber of good friend? What happens if you’re told you’re under qualified for that job you really wanted, or what you write just isn’t good enough?

My response to this has always been simple: “So. What.” It’s not a question, it’s a statement. If one onramp suddenly has flashing orange barrels and the caution tape slung over it? Don’t worry so much about it. If you find one of your aspirations being treated like a crime scene, it’s probably not the best place for you to get off right now anyway. There’s a myriad of reasons for it, but it’s the bottom line that matters: It wasn’t for you, at least not right now.

The post-disillusionment depression is normal. Give it its time; let it have its day in court. Drown it however you need to, loud music, excess, fast driving, good company, whatever, but don’t let it win. Whatever’s happening is temporary and, as long as you have a needle that’s not on E – in other words lounging around in Death’s waiting room, feeling crushed and defeated by life – you’ll be just fine.

If you do find yourself beaten senseless by the hordes of animals and wild beasts that tend to run amok in the jungles of dashed hopes and altered dream states, then there’s a problem. It’s easy to fall into it too, those dark and foreboding street corners, just off the highway of your dreams, without a single streetlight to guide you. These can cause anyone a very real sense of panic. There’s no way of knowing what’s in front of you, or on either side. There’s no way of knowing which way you should go, because you have no basis for direction. Don’t panic, there’s a simple solution.

Move. It doesn’t matter which way, just move. The gas pedal is always within reach. Don’t worry if the tank is on empty, just close your eyes, turn up the volume, and put your foot to the floor. Let the music pull you wherever it will; it’s bound to be better than inaction. Take your hands off the wheel, let the speed kick start your heart again. Turn the volume up even more – then open your eyes, grab the wheel, and decide. Whatever happens, where ever you end up, take with the knowledge you’re moving. You’re going to keep going on. You’re not going to slow down, and nothing is going to stop you now.

These are the magic moments, where it’s okay to realize you are, in fact, God of your own universe. You control the speed, you control the course, you can decide if the ride’s too fast and slow it down, but the catch is to never stop. There are many laws in the world, but the greatest crime of all? It’s stopping living. That choice will, one day, be made for you. Like it or not we’re all just charging forward, doing our best to avoid the Black Rabbit, and put as much space between it and ourselves as we can.

It’s why I advocate high speed living. The edge is out there, you will find it, and it will, eventually, take you over it. It’s a limitless road until then though and it’s best to take in as much of it as you can while there’s still time for you to do. Still, there’s no denying that final destination, the end of the road. It’s unfortunate but not tragic. The ride has to end sometime, but if you made the most out of it? There’s nothing to mourn and everything to celebrate.

The tragedy comes to those who decide to just end the ride because of some bad vibrations or truly loathsome circumstances. We all find ourselves stumped at times; screaming wild into the red bricks of a last call that snuck up on us out of nowhere, but there’s an inherent wisdom in that experience. There are plenty of walls, but you can go around them & should you find one you really if you really can’t? Don’t panic. There’s only one thing to do: Shut your eyes again and push harder, faster, and further than you have before; you’re stronger than stone, you’re unstoppable, and there’s more pavement just waiting for you on the other side.

Also, don’t be afraid of the road and take with you the knowledge that choice is what matters. If you chose to be indestructible, you are unstoppable. Don’t worry if the road looks rocky, untouched, unappreciated, or even unpaved. If it’s a road you want to take, then grab the wheel and take it. If you find yourself gripped by doubt, relax. Automobiles have rear view mirrors for a reason. You can always take a second look back, but don’t forget driving 101. Always. Watch. The. Road. You never know when something truly spectacular is going to be in front of you, and if you spend too much time checking your blind spots? You’ll miss it.

Take change like a wave; it’ll crash on the beach no matter what you do. You can’t stop it. You can’t control where it goes, how much damage it will do, or wet it’ll leave you at the end of the day. When confronted with this kind of water, you only have one choice: Climb on it and ride it into the sunset. Let it carry you where you will, and try and think of it like a brand new stretch of road, pristine and freshly paved; with all it’s winding, mountain side curves, snaking forward over your existence like a great Dragon, just waiting for you to grab on settle in for one of the greatest rides of your life.

Don’t be afraid to be surprised, or even lost, where ever it is you end up, and take comfort in being lost too. If you’re lost, it really doesn’t matter where you go – it has to be somewhere new and exciting because you’ve never been there before. You can’t always go where you want, but you can, always, keep going. You can’t always get what you want, but you can always get somewhere. Not everything will be anything, but anything always means there’s potential for something – and everyone knows that something is always better than nothing.

It’s these, often vital, things that become the easiest to forget when actually in a situation where they matter most. Despair is a giant, behemoth, of a monster that’s taken down some of the best and brightest the worlds ever known. Monster Hunters extraordinaire aren’t even always equipped to handle it, because there’s no way to track it. There’s no way to predict it, no way to see it coming, and you can be sure it’s always waiting in the wings; waiting for that one, perfect, moment to strike.

It’s not impossible to beat it though. Just remember: Anything in your way can be circumvented: Speed can outrun it, loud music and force it into retreat, and, barring these two options, you can always take it down with your fists. It’s your road, your highway, your life – despair is just the lingering threat of darkness that hangs out where you’re not looking. Don’t bother trying to see it, or even prepare for it. Just understand that it will find you.

It’s always preferable to be found by the black beast of despair, when you contemplate what else could be waiting for you. Don’t ever confuse despair and disappointment with Death. One waits, the other rides a pale horse – and if you see that crazy thing coming up in your mirrors? Don’t you dare slow down, make it work for you. Treat Death like a crazed Motorcycle cop in a bad horror movie that has to have a sequel. Never take it for granted, but never slow down to look and see if it’s still chasing you either. Understand that it always is, it always will, but you’re harder, better, faster, and stronger.

Gods only die when nobody believes in them anymore. Believe in yourself and you can go anywhere – but don’t half ass it. You’ve got to really know you’ve got the skills to persevere. No wave is too big, no speed is too fast, there’s no such thing as a wall you can’t knock down, and detours often bring you to places you never would have experienced otherwise. Pray to yourself and cut the breaks. Enjoy the ride – because it’s the only one you’re ever going to get and you don’t have the luxury of making a U-turn.

Keeping up Appearances:

Keeping up Appearances:
and other silly, human, dances

            When you’re a child you’re always taught ‘play nice’, which is, by itself, a pretty valuable lesson. It’s teaching you to be kind, to share, and to learn how to interact with peers on a respectful and social level. It’s a system of value emplacement that works quite well, for a time. What about when, in those turbulent years, the teaching doesn’t hold up to the indecision of choice? Is it ‘nicer’ to be dishonest to your friend, or to withhold information that would get them in trouble; even if it would help them? Is the ‘nice’ thing to do, to placate those around you with sugar coated words of friendship, simply in the interest of trying to spare their feelings?

            It’s the temperament of kindness with honesty that really seems to befuddle even the most well meaning of adults. We’re all about trying to maintain an image of social consideration – but we’re ready, able, and willing, to undermine it at a moments notice. Being nice is not being two faced; it’s not speaking a mouthful of lies from your mind while everything else pumps out the poison of discontent at a person, place, or thing. Being nice is, in my opinion, about being honest, being real.

            There’s no need to sugar coat your words with everyone, nor is there a need to be hostile in your statements of feelings. You will not like everyone you meet in life. I don’t think you should either. Anyone who likes everyone would strike me as a person who has no defined sense of self, no compass for the basis on which they connect with people, and no landscape by which those they do enjoy can be accurately measured. It’s a harsh judgment, I agree, but I have a habit of not trusting anyone who won’t, or worse cannot, speak their actual mind from time to time.

            Am I advocating a general stance of assholishness? Perhaps I am. The truth isn’t always going to be pleasant, that’s a simple fact of life. What it will always be is true – at least from one perspective. It pays to look at as many facets of a situation as you can, collecting as many raw, chewy, facts as you can, and taking what you see to then form your opinion. Once formed though? It shouldn’t be disguised, or be held to some prescribed theory of impoliteness. It’s just that sort of thinking that leads to an inaction that guarantees no good changes will ever come about.

            It shouldn’t be all about the dance of keeping up appearances, in my opinion. An honest person is not an unkind person – in fact I find them to be just the opposite. Someone who can, and will, speak their honest opinion to you about a situation, is someone more valuable to you than fifty score of your closest Facebook friends; each one ready and willing to jump on whatever bandwagon of attack you set out for yourself, agree with everything you say, and generally pump up an already over inflated sense of self. It’s the people who are unwilling to move to these steps, which by in large, the majority of the world seems to want them to make, that will really stand up for you.

            If you’re right, wrong, sick looking, doing something stupid, being impractical, unrealistic, or just otherwise acting a fool? You won’t always see it. That’s what perspective is all about and why surrounding yourself with nothing but a bunch of snake charmers is not a healthy way to go about existence. You’ll never have the value of real, honest, outside perspective.

            We’re taught to believe, from the very early stages of life, that feelings are too delicate to handle that kind of forward thinking. Do I agree? Somewhat. There are some things; some matters in life that do require a delicate hand, death being somewhere near the top of that list. The problem comes when that sort of mentality is applied to everything. Not every situation warrants that careful kind of maneuvering through the minefields of emotions that makes up each and every one of us. In fact, the only real, way, to have a sense of self improvement, is to have just the opposite done to you.

            But it’s wrong, cruel, and mean, should it come from a peer. If a friend stands up and says: “What you’re doing is foolish, have you even thought about it?” That friend is suddenly suspect – to most people. They’re not standing up for you, they’re not ‘getting your back’, or doing what we’re told a “friend” should do. Friends, as the rule goes, should not question you in such a forward manner, they should never speak their own morals in contradictions to your actions, no matter how considerate it may be. Friends, so society seems to think, should agree with you or shut the hell up.

            That’s why we have Shrinks, after all. They’re the people we pay our hard earned dollars too to tell us everything that we do wrong. They’re effective strangers, educated textbook junkies who think most cases of the human condition can be classified and then given a pill for – and again, I know this is general and doesn’t apply to everything, but it does seem to be the way most people want to go about it. I’ve never understood this kind of thinking at all. It seems so nonsensical to me. Why pay someone who does not walk among the forests of life with you, to comment on the wildlife and tress they’ve never seen? Just because you’ve seen it in a book and read about it, doesn’t make you an expert. People are not textbooks, we don’t all follow the same rules and guidelines (and yes, I know some do, it’s why the exist).

            It’s just that obsession with being liked by everyone, of only telling your dark secrets behind the curtain, to a relative stranger that you pay money to in order to keep their mouth shut, of being afraid to disagree with those you claim friendship toward, and the outright doctrine that honesty should take a backseat to kindness, that are the silliest and most bizarre of social dances to me.

Not everyone in the world will like you and trying to make them is pointless. It’s a twisted, winding, road, that does little more than promise you’ll get lost somewhere along the way. Not everyone will be, or should be your friend. The music’s playing, but you don’t have to dance if you don’t like the song – and being dishonest is the vilest of all the discourteous acts one could drop upon a “friend”. Honesty is paramount to kindness, it’s something owed to everyone around you. It’s the only way people can properly adjust behaviors and patterns, if they want to, or decide that their world is better suited to you not being in it.

Don’t be afraid of who you are, or what you think, just because of how the world might see you. Have your mind and eyes open; and, more importantly, don’t be afraid to use them both in conjunction with your mouth. The world, I promise you, will find a way to build a niche and nest for you without fail. There will be those around you who enjoy the person you are, who respect you for you forward speech, and not all will shun you for your candor.

Take kindness on the principle in which it should apply. Be gracious, be considerate, be thoughtful, and share. That does not mean withhold your words, or try and pass them off in a subtle enough context that you might avoid getting salt in someone’s eye. Be open to your world, and to those around you, be honest with it, them, and yourself. That’s a real act of kindness; otherwise you’re just trying to bullshit your way through an ad-libbed, improvised, play with a bunch of borrowed lines from other poets.

It might work for awhile, but eventually the world will see you for the second rate plagiarist you are and that’s when the real trouble starts.

The Truth about Golden Brown

The Truth about Golden Brown
And other, great, All-American, lies

Pictures are everywhere, of everything. You can’t turn on a television, open a magazine, or drive down the freeway without seeing them. They come in all shapes, all sizes, and leave no stone unturned. You can see perfect hair, ‘The Worlds Greatest Cheeseburger’, a smiling, happy looking, and mostly toothless children, smiling about beating cancer. They’re all quite well meaning in their designation. They’re advertisements for business, for a better tomorrow, for a world where meat really is perfect when it sits under a heat lamp for three hours, stewing in water lettuce.

The problem kicks up when we apply these models to the immediate, to the here and now – which is really only natural when we’re inundated with it from just about every conceivable angle. We expect anything and everything to be exactly as we envision it and we’re trained not to look too deep or too hard, at just what it is we’re consuming.  It’s a cosmetic cover up that, in its own way, is really a black spot on every day that starts off with a Ludovico Treatment.

It drove little Alex crazy, and how’re we any different? It’s a vicious cycle. We truss up the truth, treating it like a cheap and useless whore in some New Jersey back alley, and then we all take turns stranding in line to train it, the whole mad scene ending like some hideous snuff film. It’s enough to make you sick if you stare at it long enough and it’s powerful enough to render you helpless as a deer in the headlights of an eighteen wheeler. All you can do is close your eyes, wish you’re a kangaroo, and try and jump out of the way.

It’s also a large part of the reason why I see so many disheartened faces around me. We’re not reinforcing any kind of ethic about achievement. People used to work for these things, to take steps to see the right thing, or at least the thing that they wanted, come to light. It’s become all ‘Now Now Now’, and if it’s not, then ‘Why Bother?’ We’re just animals in the zoo, doing clever little parlor tricks to great treats from the cosmic handler. If the immediate gratification isn’t there, then it’s not worth the trip.

I know these are general, blanket, statements, and that they don’t apply to everyone. For the sake of perspective seeming fair I will say that I know a lot of hard workers. I know people who are willing to stretch out the extra mile, dragging themselves over the finish line with their fingernails if they have to, and who do on a continuous basis.

That doesn’t change the fact that there are those among us, and they’re not small in numbers, who are using these models of perfection as a sense of what is – and they’re truly starting to suffer for it. It’s the Golden Brown lie of The American Dream. Everything is evenly toasted, everything is ripe, everything is perfect, and all you have to do is reach out and take. Nobody’s going to mind. Nobody’s going to stop you. There’s plenty of it for everyone.

It’s another great picture that, unfortunately, is just as much a fake. We’re not in a land of limitless opportunity; we’re not in a fair, free, or just land, not now. We’re still plugging away at putting up billboards, milestones of achievement to prove to each and every American roadster that it’s really not as bad as it seems. There’s hardly enough work for everyone, we’re all struggling, and yet we’ve bullshitted everyone into a sense of complacency about it all, like it’s all okay.

            If we’re going to start allowing that kind of drug to be hand crafted and spoon fed to us, then why not open up the flood gates and let it all just hang out? We’re consumers by social design in this country. We’re designed to consume everything, so why put limits on it now? Those perfectly airbrushed pictures on the front of all our food packaging would be a whole lot more appealing if we had more than a diluted hope to season it with.

            These kind of pretty packages and perfect images are really the hallmarks of American Society now. Everything, and I mean everything, is perfect. If it’s not, then don’t look at it. If you’re not, deny it. Imperfections, the things that are wrong, are only fit to be seen in dark rooms through pin holes in the blanket over your head. They’re not meant to be scrutinized, because they’re just not the way it is, and when we start looking at the cracks? Well, that’s when the whole damn thing falls apart.

            It’s in these dark and desperate times, when the veil is stretched so thin it threatens to snap, you can almost count on more carrots tied to strings. Televisions will be littered with celebrity problems; things that make your own life look calm and simple in comparison. Drug pushers will hit their desks hard, doling out prescriptions of anti-depressants like they’re candy and Halloween is right around the corner, and, of course, cigarette and alcohol prices will rise. It’s the tax on escapism that diverts you into something else to be upset about – rather than the fact you’re being lied to.

            It’s sleight of mind Magic, and no one’s immune to it. All the meat is perfectly seared, juicy, and sweet, perfectly seasoned and proportionately packaged for you. You believe it because it makes sense, because they tell you that’s the way it is, and as soon as you take that first bite, before you even have time to process what you’re chewing? It’s a train wreck of flashing images, of funny American families overcoming the hardships of adolescence and dealing with the Uncle, who everyone knew was gay, coming out of the closet.

            Chew your food in front of the television and don’t think about what you might be eating. Fast food restaurants everywhere will thank you for your patronage. Corporations everywhere will salute you for your patriotism, they’ll throw ticker tape parades and let you wave from the back of the limousine. Children and Adults alike will love you. You’ll have friends because you have cable T.V...

And, above all else, you love what is you’re swallowing.

The Problem with Flamingos...

The Problem with Flamingos

And other, well meaning, social groups

We're social creatures, nobody ever tries to deny that, and I think that's good. Lately though, I've been noticing a remarkably disturbing trend among many different types of social groups. I don't think it's new, I don't think it's something that's just started to happen, but I do think it's something that we're, more and more, falling victim to by way of all these social networking sites in the world. It's that people, by and large, don't want to reach outside of their own social comfort zones in a face to face environment.

Let me start off by saying that I, in no way, think websites like Facebook, Twitter, or the, long dead, Myspace, are a bad thing at all. They are - or were - valuable ways to stay in touch with, and share the ideas of, the people you know..in principle. These sites, and most of us know and use all sorts just like them (I use all of them still, for various reasons, save twitter), were founded on a great principle: Bring you world together, share ideas, get your thoughts out there and really connect with those around you! - or at least that was the idea.

Now? Now it feels more like a collection of six second thoughts, generally sensible, but with no real deeper value than what's on the surface. Is this all bad? No, of course not. We all have thoughts like this, every day, multiple times a day. It only makes sense that some of these, for whatever reason, would make their way through the filters and onto the streams. One of the problems I see with this though is that it feels like that's become the majority of what these sites have become - and that's not even the biggest problem either.

The larger problem seems to be that, with the advent of modern communication (Internet chats, text messaging, and social media sites [all of which I use, and feel the need to admit so to avoid any sense that I might be 'preaching']),  is how we've started conducting ourselves off the internet. That, to me, screams of a huge social problem for my generation and future generations alike. It's, no longer, about who you are, or even what you do, never mind what you contribute to the world, but rather who you know and how similar your thoughts are to the, already connected thoughts, of someone else. It's really stunting every aspect of growth I see among many social circles of peers and, if unchecked, may well be a social epidemic on par with MMO-shut ins and all other forms of social addiction everywhere.

It feels, more and more, like one giant circle jerk of ideas, everyone spitting and spewing the same thoughts over and over again, in slightly different wording. Now-a-days, I see more and people with no interest in getting to know anyone outside of someone known by their peers as having identical mindsets and mentalities. This makes sense, in a lot of ways, an I don't argue it. Most people define 'friends' as those who they can share thoughts an ideas with who will agree with them. What I do disagree with is the process I see of ostracizing people who occasionally challenge those doctrines, or, perhaps, don't agree with everything as a whole, and want to [politely] challenge it.

It feels, and seems like social gatherings, both on and offline, have degenerated into a mindless pool of white noise, or, as my friend Matt Kelland put it?

"It's just noise, pretty much drowning out all the signal, and the only response people have is to turn up the noise."

How many times have you been talking to someone and thought; 'This person isn't really listening to me, just waiting for their turn to talk'? We've all been there, an I think we can all agree it's frustrating. When a conversation degrades into a one sided, wall talking, festival of spewing ideas, that at least one party has no interest in even being receptive to, everything from that point on just falls apart. Whatever happened to the challenging position of debates among friends, or having your beliefs tested those outside your normal social circles? What about approaching random strangers?

Nobody really wants to be socially challenged anymore, an I think that has a lot to do with a lot of the complaints I've been hearing about "the world" in general as of late. People say they've lost their faith in humanity - a position I would happily debate on a variety of points outside this one - but what I really hear is: I don't like people who don't think like I do.

We've established, if not become addicted to, the pattern of only surrounding ourselves with those who think just like we do. So, when an 'outsider' attempts to question or - God help them - argue a counter position? They're practically stoned to death for their trouble. In my opinion, it's this very notion that's led to a lot of the noted social decline these, so called, forward thinkers, are always complaining about. What's anyone doing about it though, really?

 Are we engaging, or teaching people, to engage these 'outsiders' in discussion? Absolutely not. We're right in our ideas, and we don't have the time for someone who doesn't agree with them - or at least fit in some like minded pattern of social stasis. It's a bunch of bullshit to me.

Personal growth cannot come from the constant affirmation of ones own ideas. Yes, it's good to know people think like you. Yes, it's good to surround yourself with like minded people. It is bad, if those are the only people in your world though. If you never step outside of those concrete social circles you've knit for yourself to be challenged by the world, how can you really ever expect to grow and mature? 

Think of it like you're a plant. You're a seed at first. Someone plants you in the sun, and waters you every day, sings to you maybe even. Sure, you have to deal with dust, maybe some bugs nibbling on your leaves, a frost or too; but you endure it. It strengthens you, helps you become a more hardly, stable, plant.

  These are you early childhood years, maybe even your teenage and adolescent years. They're the years in which all the things you think you are, are challenged. They're the years we all do the most social growth. It's what helps us find out what we like, and what we don't. It's a really good practice. What about when all that stops though? Then what happens? How is it we can continue to grow straight and tall, if we're not taking in the sun from all directions?

We don't. We end up crooked and bent, starving for sun as we bend and crane our way toward the cracks of sun petering through the tangle mass of all the other plants trying to cram themselves into the same wedge of sunlight. It's really weakening a just about every social scene that's a part of it, even the ones who're - and I use the term loosely - unique. 

I walk in a lot of different crowds. I have alternative (whatever-the-fuck that even means anymore) friends, I have 'blue collar' friends, some who are downright 'rednecks'. I consider myself friends with some politically minded people, protestors, artists, writers, and free thinkers. Do they all have a basic core that is similar? Sure they do, but I like to look outside of them often too. Why? Because, it makes me think about not just what I think about the world in all its facets, but why.

Knowing what you know, and feeling what you feel? That's all well and good, but without the why to back it up? Everything just slides down into a muddy soup of baseless shit - and frankly? I think it stinks. The next time you're in a room full of people you know, and see one, or two people you don't? Try talking to them. You could me amazed at what you find out about them or - more importantly - what you find out about yourself.

The only way we're going to change this pattern of basic anonymity, is to start getting to know people again. This doesn't mean invite them to be your Facebook friend, this means talk to them. Hell, stay in your comfort zone a little bit - text them if you want - but communicate with them. Stop holding one sided conversations, or only talking to people who know people that you do. Break the fucking trend and stop being sheep. Don't worry about what someone wears, or what kind of music they listen to..

And yes, I know, it's only natural to look for a sense of commonality in a friend, but why does everything have to be right to the friend stage? Just because you talk to someone you don't know doesn't mean they don't have to know the slightest fucking thing about you. Just because you talk to them doesn't mean they're instantly going to be your friend, but you never know what you might find if you try it. They could love you, they could hate you, they could inflame you, you might find them stupid. 

Guess what? The world's full of people who will fall into one of two categories: People you like and People you don't. It's high time that choice not be defaulted on because they don't seem like someone you'll like, or doesn't know enough of the same people you do.

Facebook is not life, and life should not be conducted like Facebook.