Words of Advice to the Up and Coming Generation

Words of Advice to the Up and Coming Generation:

A Top-Whatever list of warnings and suggestions on spending your time

Here it is, your life is passing right in front of you. Right now, it's happening. I'm serious. While you're sitting there on the cusp of a new chapter in your life, you're not thinking about that, but maybe you should be. You and I? We're part of the Up and Coming Generation. We're the ones who're changing our ways, picking new paths. We're the ones getting rattled by grand raconteur that lives in the back of our minds. We're painting green grass on the other side of fences we're just itching to climb. We know this because we woke up. We know this because, today, we took a breath. We put one leg in front of the other and got about our time in some way or another.

While you've been out, gallivanting one would hope, that's life. While you do everything you do, you're defining your life. It happens no matter what you do, but also because of what you do. Everything from the thoughts you think, to the actions you take, and the hours you sleep will impact your life. It's time you can't get back -- and it's important to remember that time is fleeting and likely shorter than you'd like. With that, we come to our first point:

1.  There are only two things you, as a human, can ever really give to anyone. What are these two things? You're time and your word. Ultimately, that's what every interaction you have with someone will ultimately boil down to at its base. You are giving your time to their company, and you're showing up for it honestly. If you abuse either of these points, or don't bring them to the table, you're not doing yourself any favors. That kind of interaction isn't going to help you either. Find somewhere more fulfilling to invest yourself. That kind of behavior is only well suited if you frequent your locker for your text books -- and even then it's pretty suspect when it comes to matters of substance.
   
   Furthermore, these things are your currency in the world. There are how the rest of the world gains a measurement of how much they can expect if they chose to give you the same. If you've built yourself a reputation as being rather a bit of gimcrack (that's a cheap, but pretty, knockoff. For the curious).
   
   
   
2.  You are the center point for every area of your life. That's it. Without you, things that happen in your life would not happen. It's that straight forward. Everything, from the good times to the bad, is your fault. You put yourself in some position where an event happened. It's why the sentiment of "Everything happens for a reason" is only applicable when the subsequent addition you can find printed all over the internet is attached at the end."And that reason is you".
   
   Take credit for your good deeds and great moments. Be accountable for where, and when, you fuck up. Pay your debts to both, because you owe them. Don't try and shake it off or pass the buck. You did what you did. Own it,
   
   I'm disappointed I feel the need to add this qualifier. I feel it should be abundantly clear I am not in the habit of victim shaming but, rather than adding it after the fact, I want to go ahead and be real up front with you.
   
   This is not to say you're responsible for the wickedness of others either, so you can hold that argument. That's what they are, or should be, responsible for here. Maybe you made some mistakes in how you handled them, maybe you missed some warning signs, or maybe you had absolutely no clue them villain in your vignette was going to turn out to be the villain at all. Nobody is blaming you for that. Some people are just monsters and, in that respect, it is our job to make sure they know that so (at least we can hope) they might change their subhuman behavior in the future.
   
   
   
3. Just because someone has not shared in your plights does not mean they have no right to add their voice to an understanding that is wrong.  Empathy is one of those things that's a double edged sword to a lot of people, especially in a world where you can be accused of being an insensitive (or worse) person because you did not conduct yourself in a manner that the sub-divided masses think you should have. No human being on the face of this planet will understand what it is like to be you. Not one person will think what you think or feel what you feel because there is no way that is impossible without them being inside your head.
   
   It doesn't matter if you've got shared cultural backgrounds or experiences. It doesn't matter if the antagonist behind what's happened to you is the same person. You can find common ground there, because unfortunately life gave you the bricks to build bridges over the same river, but how you build it is entirely yours.
   
   
   
4. Don't mistake a pattern of harshly judging yourself as your dedication to self improvement. It's really okay to not be exactly where you want to be. I know, in a world that says "to be a success you must accomplish X", it's easy to forget that. I know that you can look in the mirror and know each and everyone one of your shortcomings and things that are "wrong" with you. I know you can sit in a quiet room and feel like you're wasting your time. I know that you can tell yourself that you're not where you want to be and that, because of this, you are failing yourself.
   
   You're not. I know it can feel like it, I know you can make the argument that you haven't done enough, but not everything needs to be done in a day. You're a growing person, someone who is impacted daily by the events of a life that sometimes feels like it's beyond your control. You're subjected to things where you've got to react, you're going to hit setbacks and things are going to happen that seem to undo the years of hard work you've put in to making you, well, you.
   
   This does not mean you've failed, only that you're once again being tested. If you find things aren't up to the bar, take a good look at what misses. Decide if you want to put in the work to get it back or if, maybe, you've changed to the point you're ready to let it go. So long as you're living, it's never too late to go back for a piece of yourself you left by the side of the road -- just make sure you're not pulling a U-turn to go back and pick up your own bullshit.
   
   
   
5. Don't lock your heart up in a box and hope for someone to come along who has the key. Seriously. Don't. Spend time with your heart, have a conversation with it, and get to know it intimately. Love it like you want it to be loved. Get to know where it's weak, where it's strong, where you want it to be harder, and where it needs to be softer. Understand the language it speaks and the language it needs to hear. Learn how to communicate that, learn to teach that language to others.
   
   And then wear it where the whole world can see it.
   
   A life spent hiding your love away and then hoping someone has the tenacity to come digging for it is a recipe for hard times. Nobody should need to be an emotional archaeologist, digging through the layers of your past and tunneling under walls, just to be able to love you. Nobody should have to wander through traps and try and bribe the locals just to get to love you. Nobody has to know how to solve the puzzle of you, because you are not a puzzle. You're a glorious and complex human being who has got the right to be loved. If you're finding you can't find it, maybe it's because you're setting obstacle courses that people don't want to run through.
   
   Try instead of taking your heart outside of your head. Try to let it roan free from the tower you build to protect it. I promise you, it's more resilient than you think it is and, so long as you're not holding onto pieces of it, it'll come back together.
   
   
   
6. No matter what you might think, at any given point in time, you are not alone. Honestly, you're not. You live in a world with billions of other people. You live in a world where, even if someone doesn't know what it's like to walk a mile in your shoes, they've got similar footwear somewhere in their closet. Maybe they can't precisely say they know your pain -- and they shouldn't -- but that doesn't mean they can't understand it. More than that, you don't need to understand someone to be there for them.
   
   Almost everyone on this planet will encounter something in life that's too heavy to carry on their own. It can be difficult for us to admit it, it can feel like we're unfairly sharing a burden and asking for help when everyone's got it rough, but if there's one thing I can say for certain about that behavior? It's arrogant. If there's two things about it? It's selfish.
   
   You have no way of knowing what anyone can, will, or wants to handle. If you're telling yourself it's too much for them, or it's not fair of you to share it with them, that's taking agency with someone else's feelings and you're being a prick to everyone involved. Stop it. I know it's hard, I know you don't want to feel like you're some whiny child asking for help, but let other people reject your request if they want to -- and then ask someone else if they do.
   
   There's nothing wrong with saying you need help but, I promise you, there will be a whole lot more that goes wrong if you try and handle it all yourself.
   
   
   
7.  Take at least a regular sojourn outside your comfort zone. Trying new things is one of the easiest ways to find new sources of joy in life, it really is, and this is especially essential if you find your "tried and true" methods of handling life are starting to fail you.  Even if they haven't, do it anyway. That's it.
   
   
   
8.  Being vulnerable to being hurt is essential to being loved. I know this one sucks, but it's true. Be vulnerable, do it. Don't think of it as being brave. Don't think of it as being courageous. It might be all of those things, but I strongly advise that you don't make it about those things. Make it about confronting your fears of being hurt. Make it about trusting your own worth enough to be surprised when the world sees it too. Show it to them so they have that opportunity. If you don't open yourself up to it, the space your using to let people in won't be a big enough door for them to actually get through.
   
   I'm not saying knock down the castle all in one day.
   
   
9. Learn to feed yourself. I mean this in every way I can think of at the moment. Learn to cook the food that you like, learn to share it with people who bring more to your table than just sides. Learn to let the people in who nurture you. Read books that feed your soul, watch films that feed new ideas, and subject yourself strange cuisine solely for the sake of knowing where your tastes really end up.
   
   Starvation of the self, either because you've chosen not to feed your soul or because you've given all your food away, is a surefire way to stagnate. On the other hand, nurturing yourself to be who you want to be is the most surefire way to make sure you end up there. Feed yourself the love you want to feel and watch how you grow. Don't rely on the spoon of a stranger to bring you the nourishment you need, learn to cultivate it and share it. Be twice as wary if you find yourself needing airplane noises to get the good things down the hatch.
   
   Don't be afraid to break bread, but understand the difference between the people you invite to your feast and the people you ask to sit at your table. Be discerning and keep extra chairs handy for when the surprise guest shows up and you discover they're sitting someplace other than where you'd rather have them be. Invite them to join you. See what happens.
   
   
10. It's okay -- if you let it be. Whatever it is, I promise you, it's okay. It doesn't matter what you're feeling or facing, what you're handling or holding inside. It doesn't matter if you're taking deep breaths or if you feel like you're drowning, if you're angry at yourself or afraid of what happens when you open the blinds and let the world see in. These are the trials and adversities of life. To reiterate: You don't have to handle them on your own. You're not less of a worthwhile person just because of it. You're not anything but someone who's trying to make it, and that's okay.
    
    I know it's hard to convince yourself of that, that you're not somehow less than because of whatever reason you've decided justifies that conclusion. I'm here to tell you that you're not. It doesn't matter if your health is failing you. It doesn't matter if your heart is failing you, your head is being a dick, or your soul is starving and ravenous. You are okay. You're human. These things happen. I'm repeating it to drive the nail home because it's probably one of the most important pieces of advice I have to give you.
    
    
11.  A disagreement with your perspective is not always criticism. Another one I can't stress enough is this one. Not everyone will agree with you -- which is good, because that would be boring -- but just because someone doesn't think like you do does not mean that one of you is wrong. Most of like, like every single piece of advice presented here, is a reaction to previous experience and an expression of the thoughts those responses have brought to us. For the thousandth time, not everyone will know exactly what you've been through. It's just not possible and, with that notion in mind, it's important to remember that will lead people to very different conclusions about the world than you have for yourself.
    
    Now, you can absolutely criticize someone for disagreeing with you. They can do it to you too. Maybe this is a fundamental point about your personalities that is different. Maybe it's something you feel you need to defend because you're so against the position on the other end. Whatever the chosen reason, it's important to remember that this kind of thing is built upon the same foundation as the idea in question. You're choosing to take a position of offense because someone thinks differently than you.
    
    It's especially important to apply this to conversations with yourself. Let yourself be able to change your mind -- because it's entirely possible you might not have one if you can't.
    
    
12. Don't forget to let yourself when you get tired. You decide your own timetable for satisfaction and, just because you want it done right-fucking-now does not mean it's possible. Sorry to break it to you, but not every problem you come across is something you're going to be handle right now; not every door in your history can be opened. You hid some keys for yourself for a reason and it's not always as simple as retracing your steps. Sometimes you've got to fashion a new key, sometimes you've got to teach yourself how to be a locksmith.
    
    Whatever you need to do, you won't always be able to handle it all at once. Again, this is okay. It will wear you down. It will wipe you out. It will make you want to put your head down on a pillow and sleep for days. It'll take everything you've got to wrap your hands around the brass handles on that door sometimes. Just remember that endurance isn't always about how far you can go, but how well you can pace yourself to work with what you've got to give.
    
    
13. Learn to need yourself in your own life. Learn to be okay with being selfish, with coming first. Understand that you are essential to your own existence. That's it.
    
    
14. Go. Go where? Exactly. Ask that question. Ask yourself where you want to go and then go. Go on adventures. Go to the company that makes you feel like you're at home. Go to yourself. Go to places you enjoy. Go places you've never been. Go deep into your own soul and go into others. Go outside of yourself. Go find who you are. Go challenge yourself. Go love yourself. Go want. Go dream. Go create. Go be "better". Go live. Go laugh. Go fall in love. Go find an answer to a question. Go be brave.
    
    Go be afraid, and then keep going. Go being hurt, and then go find yourself a space to heal. Go meet yourself at a new crossroad. Go be yourself in a room full of strangers and go where you find it accepted. Go read. Go grow. Go create your own personal masterpiece. Go be your raison d'etre. Go climb that goddamned mountain. Go spread the light and love you've got all over the world. Let go of what people do with it.
    
    Go be a beautiful disaster. Go be your own magnum opus. Go out unto the world and let it do what it will. Go meet the person you're going to be tomorrow and go right ahead and fall in love with them. Go out there and find a reason to bed at night with a smile on your face. Go. Get out there. Get in there. Go to yourself. Go home. Go out.  Go dance, go cry, go be broken and go put yourself back together. Go bring someone some glue who has got less than you. Go do, go be, go big, go all the way.
    
    Go meet yourself. Go meet strangers -- actually meet them -- and go learn about them. Go see a life that isn't yours -- even if it's just the one you've been letting yourself live for awhile.
    
    Just. Go.

Another Page of Something Different:

Another Page of Something Different:

So, every once and awhile, I like to step away from the usual contents of this blog and post something a little more personal. I think, with as much as I've been addressing the general issue with vulnerability, with an unwillingness to bring soul to conversation, this is all the more appropriate. So, without further delay and plenty of adieu, here you are. Don't say you haven't been warned.

____________________________

Where the fuck I was seemed entirely irrelevant. Much like most products of my time, I'd never had a taste for honest work. Unlike many of the math equations trying to pass off as people, I wasn't content for simply being. It was how I'd come to get lost in streets I probably should have recognized. It was entirely on purpose, a representation of who I was, even if I was too out of my mind to admit it. You see, that was the real problem. I was in love with being lost, with the notion of being gone, and, as I hobbled down cobbled streets I, I had no real choice but to admit this to myself in some kind of blind panic.

I tried to warn people of my blunders, to not get so hung up on love they went chasing it down every rabbit hole known to man, but it was clear it was a lost cause. I could shake all the lapels I wanted, wrap my arms around any calves that passed me at eye level, and it wouldn't have mattered. I was a stranger smack dab in the middle of Generation Stranger Danger. I was completely naked to these people and running around like some, slack jawed, completely intelligible, aquatic creature. To them, I was trying to move my vocal chords like they'd spent a lifetime underwater. To them, I was the most terrifying thing they'd ever seen.

This wasn't terribly inaccurate mind you. As I said, I was someone who identified with being lost. This is not the kind of philosophy most people can attach themselves too, even in the most addled of states. This is a world where the very concept of emotion had been replaced by comfort. This was a world where the idea of adventure had been perverted into safe little jaunts barely outside the circumference of known restaurants. This was a world where everyone was a boogeyman, where everyone was expected to wear armor, and the only safe way to exist was inside of what you knew.

I didn't fit in this world and I knew it.

It was how I'd come to be here, face down on the sidewalk and rather enjoying the view. It was a subjective vantage that made things make sense. I saw the world in strange angles. I spent a considerable portion of myself trying to right this with drugs and alcohol, only to realize I was trying to bail out a sinking ship with a shot glass. I'd come to know this about myself and, just as importantly, I'd come to stop caring about it. I was, as they say, comfortably fucked.

It felt all the more appropriate, even as I was surrounded by blurred reflections obscured by the glass etchings of buildings desperate to be noticed.  I was, or so it seemed to me, in a place that most people worked very hard to be in their lives. I was uncomfortable but placated just enough by the trinkets and baubles I was willing to accept. I was going through the motions of a life I wasn't living. The only difference, near as I could tell, was that I was actually happy with it -- and I think that should have been the first sign that there was a real problem.

Now, however, was not the time to address such things. Now was the time to raise brown paper bags to tired lips. Now was the time to wander dark alleys and bumble out into the neon trying so desperately to convince you this tired town had some kind of life. Now was the hour when you heard muffled bastardizations of Journey and Lynyrd Skynyrd. Now was the time when you knew, if you didn't make it into a bar quickly, there was going to be an issue between you and the bartender over whether or not you'd made it to last call or not. Now was the time when you knew, even with the traveler of Wild Turkey in your hand, you were really going to need another drink.

It's always been my favorite hour of the evening, even if only because it was chalked so full of disingenuous courage. It's the hour where everyone loves everyone or everyone fights everyone. It's Extreme O'Clock, the place where emotions run raw and ragged. It's the time of day when everyone revisits the dog eared pages of their own history, where everyone chooses to embrace or run from it. It's the time of night where the only people left are the ones so mad drunk on wanting that there's nowhere left to go but up to eleven. It's the one time of day where I make any kind of sense when I look at my environment.

It's how I go home.

Even the smoke filled room, with some neglected canine bellowing out a cover of Baba O'Riley from somewhere deep within doesn't shake the feeling. I know, no sooner than I see the spastic shakes of someone trying to find rhythm after one too many Appletinis, that I have found my place. I know, even as I snake my way through the slathering masses of excited and desperate hands, even as I'm forced to kick away the refuse with a bad leg that groans about the impending winter, I have found my place. Its oscillation matches my own and, at least for right now, it's somewhere I can probably find myself a drink.

"You can't bring that in here." No sooner had I hit the bar than the gruff and tumble voice of someone hit by times too hard to afford decent cigarettes punched my ears. I looked up to see that my brown of sacred sanity was not going to be accepted here. His eyes said it all. There was no point in fighting it and clearly there was going to be trouble. Even so drunk it was hard to see, I could work the math. I knew, that if I didn't act quickly, any chance I had of getting myself something sanitary was going to drop to zero.

"What if I leave it behind the bar with you?" I still sounded like a fish but, with the sound of the music, it seemed like it was hard to tell. There was a brief pause where it seemed my logic had struck a nerve and, I knew, I had to jump on it. "It's not like you can afford to turn me away." I added quickly. "I'm the kind of customer who keeps small towns like this floating."

There was a dry chuckle, almost like the emotional side of his beard covered chords hadn't been used since prohibition. "That a fact? How's that?"

"You ever seen a drunk who didn't have to piss every five minutes?"

The laugh that followed was as alien as I was in this room. Nobody heard it, nobody saw it, largely because nobody wanted to -- and because I was still nobody at that moment. He didn't say anything as the wounded dog got off the stage and was promptly replaced with some large bird that hard clearly done too much methamphetamine. Even though I couldn't see her through the buzzing lights that wanted to convince you this bar was something you saw in a movie once, I was certain her teeth weren't the only thing rotten about her.

"You better hurry up and make up your mind. Nobody can be expected to survive this kind of thing sober." I tried to grease the chute that would land me somewhere higher and lower simultaneously.

"You're not sober." He fired back with a knowing look. He'd clearly been at this for awhile, which should have been evident by the tattoos on his arm that looked like someone had spilled a glass of grape juice on a fresh watercolor painting.

"I'm too sober for this." I countered with the very last chip I had to play. "Now, if you're not going to serve me, you're going to have to let me know man. I've got things to outrun and I can't reasonably be expected to do with what I have here. So, you can either take my bottle and serve me a triple gin on the rocks, or I can go somewhere else."

There was a small moment of trumpeting from my insides when he took my paper bag and sat it behind the bar and started pouring my drink plus change. Two pint glasses, half full of ice, and poured generously with the clear liquid of my salvation. He sat them in front of  me with barely a word until he'd taken my money and helped himself to the change.

"What're you trying to outrun anyway?" He asked me flatly, the song dying down somewhere in the background, probably because the caterwauling woman was too drunk to see the prompter.

"Myself." I answered honestly, slugging down the first glass without a shred of hesitation.

"And how's that working out for you?"

"Just fine." I swallowed the second glass, shaking my head as the alcohol and juniper punched me square in the back of the throat. I was going to be sick in the morning. That was just fine, it wasn't any different than how I felt if I'd been drinking or not. I'd barely make it to the bathroom sober before I'd have to catch my reflection in the vanity mirror. There was enough there to make me sick and that said nothing of what happened as soon as I look up the window. "Why're you asking?"

"Never seen anybody manage it before and you look like you're trying pretty hard." He made  a face when I waved for my paper bag, but I gave him a nod for the door as I awkwardly stumbled onto the plywood of the floor from the comfort of my bar stool. He seemed to understand I was leaving and handed it to me. I probably should have left then and there, but the honest nature of a moment of clarity isn't the kind of thing you can ignore.

"I manage it all the time." I fired with a smirk, the good hand snatching the bar like it was the last cheeseburger on the planet.

"Oh yeah?" The question was smug, like he'd finally managed to decipher the full dictionary of my drunken language -- or my pantomimes were getting better -- but he was was still sure he'd heard it before. "How's that?"

I pulled the bottle back to my lips for an equally smug haul, despite his earlier, non-verbal, warnings.

"You've just got to talk yourself into the fact that forgetting who you are is a good idea and agree that you're not going to remember until you wake up."

"And how's that feel?" He asked with a smug grin and a wave of beefy hand toward the open door.

"About like a hangover." And, with that, like always happened, I was back out into the night. I was revisiting those dog eared pages of myself with an inability to read the words on the page. I was stumbling down streets I might have been on hundreds of years ago.  I was right where I needed to be and, by the end of the night I was staring up at the sky by the edge of a river.

I was drunk on strange feelings in a strange place. Tomorrow was going to hurt and I'd need to replenish much of what I'd lost. It was going to be like every other tomorrow, whether I'd been drunk the night before. I could take comfort in that, I could let it be the most human thing I'd ever been, and, like it or not, I was ready to wake up screaming. It was the same way I'd come into the world and, in very different way, those two days would have something in common.

I'd be ready to fall in love with the world all over again.

Unpopular Words for an Unpopular Time:

Unpopular Words for an Unpopular Time: 

And the separation of me, you, and everyone we know

Dear World, Dear America,

It's been a rough year and a busy one to be sure. It's a political year, chalked full of issues we all want to have something to say about, a year bursting at the seams with hashtags and social injustices. The times we live in are brimming with rage and apathy, stuffed to the gills with heartache and loss, and they've seen the death of hope in many hearts and minds of the global peoples. There have been high points, as there often are in times like these but, being unfortunately honest with you my readers, they've been cast in a long shadow by everything else we've been dealing with -- and I'm here to tell you the one thing that you probably don't want to hear.
 

Maybe you're one of the gun toting people who thinks it's you're American right to own an automatic weapon and shoot Eagles out of trees, saving the day of freedom everywhere. Maybe you're a non gender binary, non cisgendered, person who is fighting and striving to see your like minded people's have a fair and fear free life. Maybe you're a completely average, white male who just wants to make your voice heard when you say you're not as bad as the internet would like to make you out to be. Maybe you think Donald Trump is the last great chance for America to be what it could be. Maybe you're a disenfranchised human who just doesn't understand how humans can act so inhumanly toward one another and you've just given up. It doesn't really matter and, much as I'm sure this isn't a very popular thing to say, but I'm going to say it anyway.

In my opinion, you're part of the problem.

 

Each and every one of the causes we're seeing in the modern world, be it gender, racial, sexual -- because gender and sexuality are not the same -- a right to own guns, and so on (because I'm not about to sit here and list out every issue, but obviously there's more), all seem to roughly stem from the same desire. We all want to be able to live the life we want, to be able to make our choices and not have fear of repercussion or reprisal because of the things we want to do that don't affect on anyone but ourselves. For the majority, I support this notion. If what you want to do is contained within your own personal microcosmos, do what you want. If it's between consenting individuals, do what you want. If it's a matter of personal identity, then you go for it.

That's not to say that some of these fights don't need to be taken up and held fast against things that would see them crumble. There are sects and sects of people who, on a global scale, are receiving treatment that barely qualifies as human. They're being judged based on things that they have no control over, that should hold absolutely no basis in human judgment in the first place. Nobody can argue the balance of justice is, quite frankly, nonexistent. There's a double standard on every street corner and that's wrong. There's a sense of, quite understandable, rage about it. It's got people out in the streets, it's got people throwing out hashtags on every social media platform, it's gotten celebrities -- who we, for whatever reason, seem to embody as the almighty voice of power even though it's us who put them there -- making elaborate speeches, and I don't think any of that inherently is a bad thing.

The spectrum of human behavior is no stranger to wickedness and selfishness. It's unfortunate that this is the case. It's unfortunate that we live in a world so mired by intolerance and judgment that it's getting people killed. It's unfortunate that these issues are so widespread, so tangled up in how we go about our daily lives, that there seems to be no escaping them. It's unfortunate that so many people see the only answer to the cause as being violence. It's unfortunate that, arguable as the position might be, we see the need to divide ourselves for the sake of safety. It's unfortunate that we live in a world so connected, where the wealth of joy, knowledge, and like minded people is right here at our fingertips and all we're doing is wasting it -- because that's exactly what we're doing.

 

Again, I don't disagree with the calls for justice in the world or the social uprising we've seen in support of them. I don't disagree with the calling out of a wrongness on any front, I don't disagree with any of you for wanting to point out the things your identified demographic has to struggle with as a result of how terrible people can be to one another. I think, at it's most basic of principles, it's good that we're calling out each other on our bullshit. I think, eventually, it stands a very good chance to make some real changes in how we treat one another, but I also think all of that fundamentally hinges on something that we're not doing -- and that's coming together.

I know it seems like that's exactly what we're doing. I know it seems like that, when you're seeing racially diverse groups of people up in arms over an issue, that maybe we're making progress. I know it looks great when you see straight people marching in a Gay Pride parade. I know it's great to see a man stand up for women's rights without using the hashtag of "Not all Men". I know it's great to see all these memes rolling around on the internet, being shared by everyone. I know it's great to see a communal voice shout out against the wrongness against a sect of people. Again, I think that it's good to have the callouts in place for shitty, inhuman, treatment between human beings. What I don't think however is that the answer we've chosen to direct this course of action is really being as beneficial as we'd all like to think it is.

The problems we're facing, we're choosing to face as and designate as a divide. Now, I understand why. I really do. It's important to highlight the reason the prejudice, bias, injustice, whatever, has occurred. If an issue was racially motivated, it deserves to have that brought to attention because being an asshole to people because of their ethnicity is a shitty thing to do. This applies unilaterally and without question. If you are going to judge, harm, or behave poorly to another human being because of something they are and not something they've done? You're an asshole. Plain and simple. You're being a substandard human. If you were to be given a modern day report card it would read "Needs improvement", because the world's too concerned with hand holding you to tell you that you're failing -- but that's another issue.

This isn't carte blanche to use your religion either, and you can go right ahead and shut the fuck up with that argument. I don't care which one you believe, it honestly doesn't matter, because that falls right in line with everything else. Your religion is your choice, it's the path you think is right in the world. It's the path that, to you, speaks to the way life should be and guarantees you some kind of reward for your behavior. Yes, I know there are extremist interpretations of religions out there in the world that say you've got the right to kill, maim, murder, and destroy that which doesn't agree with you and, if you're one of the people out there who thinks you've got some kind of divine mandate that means you've got to save the world from whatever your God, ideology, or belief tells you a sin is? You've got the right to try, to try and spread the word of your belief to the people who need it. It's what I'm sitting here doing right now. What you don't have the right to do however, is force that belief upon the world because then all you're doing is reinforcing the problem all over again.

And that, to be quite honest, is what I see the rest of us doing too.

We're approaching everything in this country (and seemingly globally if the news is any indicator) with this sectarian approach. Republicans and Democrats will shoot down ideas solely because they come from opposite camps rather than consider what would be for the good of everyone. Women who fight to have the voice of their struggles heard are being met with untold volumes of subhuman behavior. Unified countries are dividing over the support of the less fortunate. The African American community is seeing a counter-surge of White Supremacist culture, and the list goes on and on.  

 

For every hashtag on one end of the spectrum, we have another set of voices rising up as if to say "Hey, my voice counts too!". People want to stand up and say that they're not trying to separate the people from one another, that the point of the social justice movement isn't to further drive the wedge home, and I believe them. I believe, absolutely, that is not their intent. When someone says "#blacklivesmatter", they're in no way saying that white lives don't. Gay pride is not saying that straight people shouldn't be proud of knowing and being comfortable with their sexuality. YesAllWomen is not saying that all men are terrible garbage. I know that's not what's being said but, and here's the really important thing:

It's obviously what some people are hearing. 

 

This is not the fault of the causes, of the people who want equality, or who every right to stand up for the shit treatment they're getting out of the world. Nobody can blame an entire demographic that feels marginalized, mistreated, and so on, for wanting to stand up and say "Cut the bullshit, my people don't deserve to be treated like this." There's something in there though, something that I think fundamentally disconnects the argument of equality in the hearts and minds of so many people, and it's a very simple thing. It might not be a popular thing anymore, it might not be something you want to believe, it might be something that tears at the very core of your heart and soul -- because I know it does for me -- but that makes it nevertheless true.

 

Every single person on this planet, from the oldest of the old to babies born as I'm pounding out consonants on a keyboard, is one of your people. It's painful to swallow the notion that people who behave so contradictory to who we are deserve the same treatment as we'd want for ourselves. Isn't that what everyone wants though? Don't we all want to get through life following what we believe is right? Don't we all want to be happy, whatever that means to us? Doesn't everyone want a life free of persecution? Doesn't everyone want to be able to be who they are? Shouldn't we live in a world where that's not some social luxury only afforded to people who want to (or feel they must) divide into groups of like people and stand strong?

 

I get it too. I understand why that happens, I understand that the persecution is so strong it's the only way you can feel safe. It makes perfect sense. I don't even think it's unreasonable. I think it's unfortunate. I think it's not as productive as we'd like it to be, and I think that's because a further divide isn't the answer. The notion that we're different from one another is, at least to me, at the core of where so many of these issues come from. People see people differently based on things that are, or should be, completely irrelevant. Skin color, sex organs, the clothes on your back, the hands you hold, the lips you kiss, these aren't things that separate us -- or at the very least they shouldn't be.

I know this can be hard to reconcile, especially for the extremists in thought out there. I know because I'm one of them. I believe in the extreme potential of humanity. I believe we're better than this, despite all the evidence I see to the contrary. I know everyone wants to stand up and point out that everyone should be treated the same, that everyone has the right to be angry that they're not. I know that dark and awful things are happening on our city streets America. I know that some of us feel failed by our politicians. I know some of think that we should divide ourselves and defend our ideals to the death of the last man. I know some of us think that we've got to send loud and hard messages, that we've got to divide into a sectarian society or everything we are will just fall apart and get trampled underfoot. 

 

I hear you, people of the world. I really do. I know you're angry, I know you're sad. I know you're scared. I know you think, maybe rightly so, that your equality and freedom are getting set ablaze and stolen from you in the night. I know you're afraid of getting killed because of who you are, what job you've got, or any number of things. I know you're just trying to get through your days, that you just want to be who you are, love who you love, and believe what you believe. I want to encourage you to keep going. I want to tell you to get up tomorrow, to try for that balance and fairness in the world, to find a real equality among yourselves, but I also want to suggest that maybe you try something a little different since what we're doing doesn't seem to be working right now.

I want you to try and remember that we all share a world. I want you to try and remember that, while you might disagree with what someone thinks or does with their life, that's okay. I don't want to sit here and put qualifiers on it, to say that obviously that only applies so long as you're not hurting anyone, but I also want to believe that we inherently know that. None of us want to get shot. None of us want to get put down for what we believe or feel. None of us want to wake up in the morning wondering if we're going to die just for being who we are, it's bad enough just knowing that you might die just because your time is up. 

I want you to try and look at people who offend or disgust you because of their identity, and then forget about that identity. I want you to take everything about who you are and try and set it aside. I want you to try and go back to the basics. I want you to remember that we're all just trying to get through this world, that we're all trying to find something to love and hold tight when things get crazy. I want you to remember that your opinion isn't right just because it's yours. I want you to remember that you're beautiful. I want you to remember that you're part of a species that's left its planet and seen the stars. I want you to remember that we're going to be sharing the universe with ourselves forever. I want you to remember that you're human, and so is everyone else.

I want you to do something different than divide yourself. I want you to do something different other than choose to believe that we're just a bunch of groups trying to come together in a cosmos. I want you to do something other than think of yourself as a "_______". I want you to stop playing identity MadLibs. I want you to walk out your door and understand you're just as strange and special as everyone else. I want you to share love instead of hate. I want you to share tolerance instead of intolerance, share hugs instead of fists, and do something else with yourself other than perpetuate the idea that we're all different. Sure, we all like different food. Sure we all might not like the same things. Sure, maybe we feel threatened by what we don't like even, but, let's be real for a minute.

We've never faced a threat we couldn't overcome when were unified. Not one. Again, we've been to space. We've, as a species, as a global society, been to a place where everything in the world can and will kill you if anything goes wrong. Right now, the biggest threat we're being faced with is the constant sense of divide we're building for ourselves. So, while you might be a "minority" or maybe you're one of the "lucky few", it doesn't matter. It's imperative at this point that, if we're going to survive this meteor of our own shit we've got coming our way, the only way we're going to do it is to let go of this idea that identity and opinion are matters of adversity worthy of killing for.

You are not a blank. You are not a religion. You are not an idea. You are not any one thing. You're a human being. While maybe, to you, it matters what language you speak or what part of the world you or your ancestors hailed from. Maybe, to you, it matters who a person loves or what they believe happens to them when they die. Maybe, but, at the end of the day? We're all exactly the same. We're wild, crazy, creatures who are trying to see our bellies and hearts full. We're people who want to believe our life has meaning, and we want to find people to share that with. 

 

It's the philosophy of the human experience: We're all just striving to find connections in the madness -- so how about we stop taking that away from each other? How about we wake up to a world full of humans and leave it at that? How about we stop trying to be so different from each other and just let each other be? How about you stop being a thing, an ideal, a religion, a preference, or an opinion? How about you realize that you're not better than anyone else by being different but rather by being loving an accepting of everyone -- even the people you disagree with? How about it World, do you think you can give it a go?

 

What if I tell you I love you and ask real nice? Could you try then? Please? Because I really do love what you could be. I really do believe you can get past a the point where we're shooting each other every day. I really do believe we can  get past the point where we feel justified in treating each other in subhuman fashions. I believe it for you, even if you don't right now, but please, please, try World -- because none of us are immune to what's happening to you.

Here's hoping tomorrow works for all of us. Here's hoping that, tomorrow, we might need less hashtags. Here's hoping that tomorrow people won't get killed for being who they are or having the jobs they have. Here's hoping that tomorrow's a day full of love for everyone. Here's hoping that everyone gets treated fairly, that justice is actually just, and that nobody feels the need to be afraid to go outside.

Sincerely yours, with a heart full of dwindling hope and a want to believe,

A Human, just like you.